10 most effective ways to make friends

10 most effective ways to make friends

Humans are social animals. We love to interact and bond with others. Everything that we do directly or indirectly involves others also. This dependency on each other creates the need to be involved and communicate. 

When we rise above the basic needs, we feel the urge of becoming a person of influence and gain friends. If you look at the story of a successful person, you will realize that they are aware of how to gain friends and influence others, and establish personal influence.

Image of happy friends
representative image|credit: pixel
When we try to climb the ladders of success we must know the key to becoming a person of influence and how to win people. 

If you also wonder how to develop self-confidence and improve public speaking then don’t worry, it is not rocket science. You can learn the art of influencing others with simple dedication and practice. 

The 10 effective ways how to win friends

  1. Be the real you

An imposter can never connect honestly with people. People appreciate honesty and like to connect with such people. Do not try to imitate others and just be yourself. 

The first step of how to develop self-confidence and improve public speaking is developing a true connection and always being honest with yourself. Accept your mistakes and be a flawsome person. This will help you in influencing others and connecting with them naturally. 

Also read: Top 10 interesting hacks for summer

  1. Be a good listener

People often mistake good public speaking and influencing men in business with talking. The real factor about how to make friends and influence others is listening. 

Everyone wants to speak, but a good listener always catches and beholds the attention of their audience. To start a good conversation that leaves an impact on the other person, you must hear out the person. This helps in bridging the gap between two people. 

Make sure that you do not interrupt someone while talking. Do not question fiercely or get offended in the middle of the speech. Wait for your turn and then speak. 

  1. Master your art

Your mind is your garden, so seed it with knowledge, information, and awareness. If you dream of becoming a person of influence then you must be aware of your topics and concerns. 

Educate and empower yourself and that will instinctively boost your confidence. By enriching oneself with education and information is how successful people lead. 

  1. Spice it up with a story

How to win friends and influence if you are under-confident or shy? 

Juice up your conversation by adding stories to them. Stories are a great way of holding another person’s attention.

People do not defend themselves against a story and become more responsive to nature. Different stories can help you create a different atmosphere and evoke different emotions. 

They are intriguing and last longer in a person’s memory than a usual conversation. 

  1. Lead by example

Don’t act like a boss everywhere. For influencing others, you must become an example for them to leave a stronger impact. 

The simple method of leading by example to influence people is by practicing what you preach. 

  1. Always Motivate and appreciate others

Winning friends and influencing others will be easy if you will be a positive person. Always motivate others and cheer them up when they are feeling low. Appreciate others' efforts and work. 

People always love to be appreciated. Motivation and gratitude create a positive image of one person and help create a personal influence.

  1. Be kind and empathetic

The human mind is naturally more responsive toward kindness and empathy. Being kind and empathetic not only helps in becoming person of influence, but it creates a sense of joy and peace in our minds. 

You leave an impact on the whole system when you display kindness and empathy towards one person in the system. Word of mouth comes into play in that case. 

Apart from influencing others and how to win people, morally it is the most correct and humane method of developing a genuine connection with others. 

  1. Respond to the emotional needs of a person

You cannot learn how to gain friends and influence others if you are not responsive to their needs and worries. Be there for your friends and people. Immediately respond to their emotional needs. If possible, assist them financially also during a crisis.

This helps in creating a connection of trust and reliability. This is the absolute way of how to win friends. 

  1. Don’t be negative

A negative person is like an energy sucker and no one likes such a person around. Do not criticize unnecessarily. Avoid speaking ill of others. 

Work on your perspective and look at things positively. Distort the negative cycle going in your head and kill cynical thoughts and irrelevant criticism.  

  1. Address people with their identity

Try using the first name of a person, this helps draw instant attention. Remembering their identity and the good things about them helps leave a better impression on the other person. 


The above ways are very effective in winning friends and creating an influence. You can also read books like Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People or listen to audio and videos. 

Also try to work on your body language and tone as those are very crucial elements while communicating with someone. Go through how to win friends and influence people chapters and apply the idea in your life.